


Loving someone

by Bixiayu



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel, Marvel 616, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, Letter, Loneliness, Longing, M/M, No Fluff, Post Civil War, Regret, Sadness, Steve hates himself, Steve’s POV, Tears, many tears, steve can’t sleep
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-04
Updated: 2018-05-04
Packaged: 2019-05-01 22:39:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 525
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14530821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bixiayu/pseuds/Bixiayu
Summary: Steve is alone, in Wakanda, after the events of Civil War.He decides to write a letter to Tony.He misses him.





	Loving someone

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!

Hey Tony,

It’s me, Steve. Steve Rogers. It’s been a few years since I last saw you and... I don’t really know where to begin with this. Currently, it’s dark out and I have no clue if it’s late or early because... I haven’t slept in a few days. I’m not going to lie, it’s been so hard without you, Tony. I’ve missed you a lot and if I’m being honest with myself, I feel a bit lost. I didn’t realize how much I relied on you until now.

I know I already apologized, but I don’t think it was enough. Nothing will ever be enough. I know I hurt you and no words can express how truly sorry I am. What I did was wrong. It wasn’t fair to you. The death of your parents was not my secret to keep. A mistake was made. A big one that I may never be able to make up for.

By not telling you about the video, I thought I was sparing you or myself, but I realized I was wrong. I only did it to spare Bucky. I don’t know why I did it, exactly. When I found out about the video, Bucky was off the grid. There’s no way anyone of us could’ve found him. I don’t know… I was just so afraid that if I told you, I would lose him again. Stupid... I was so stupid.

If I could go back in time, I would’ve done so many things differently. I would’ve told you as soon as I had the chance. There’s no telling that your feelings towards Bucky would’ve been different, but at least I could’ve been there to help you get through it. If I had been honest like I should have, I would’ve had the chance to talk to you about it instead of us attacking one another in Siberia. We could’ve been in the tower together with me, by your side, staying there.

I love you, Tony. I think the whole team knew that. I’m not ashamed of it either. If you wanted me to, I would yell it from the highest rooftops in New York. Even if you wanted me to do it right now, I would. One phone call from you and I would be running right back. We’re two sides of the same coin. Or at least, this is how I see it. We fight for the same things, just with different approaches. After what happened… I don’t feel complete anymore. I don’t know how you feel, but I hope you’re doing well. I need you, Tony. I need you more than anything.

  
I know the road ahead won’t be easy, but I’m ready to give my best to try to make things work between us. Maybe our relationship will never be the same. Maybe that’s not necessarily a bad thing. I don’t know where I’m going with this but if you can't forgive me, I’ll understand.

After everything that has happened, the way I feel about you has and will never change.

I hope to, one day, see you again.

 ~~Love~~ From,  
Steve Rogers

**Author's Note:**

> Tony’s hands would be shaking while holding this letter, probably a few tears too.


End file.
